Language Learning and other things

Hi it has been a very busy two weeks. I have continued to gather our dossier papers, to make plans for our redecorating project, which we have decided to do the paint and such when we bring our son home, and our most interesting activity to date. I realize why they send young people to school, my memory ain't what it used to be. We are seeking to learn Russian and it is an interesting task to say the least. Their alphabet is familiar and not at the same time. For example M=M, but N=H, or S=C. They have similar letters, I would say about half and half of those make a sound we associate with another letter. Mike laughs because I have a favorite letter it is pronounced to me, this is sounded out e-kratka. I think my alphabet is starting to sound like theirs and it is becoming more familiar each day. I so want to understand our son he will probably surpass us because he will have the necessity to speak English here in the states, I hope to pick up much while we are in Ukraine.
I want to cover a topic I have not seen on another web, but feel every potential adoptive family goes through it. And that is doubt or fear. Fear of the unknown, doubt of the capability to parent, and for me fear of an airplane flight. I get claustrophobic and 8-14 hours trapped in a metal tube overwhelms me at times. To me that is the worst part of the adoption process, flying. We have had our fears of how will this change our life, how will we discipline, how do we make up for 16 years of having no parent to full family. And we think this young man has to face the same type of fear and doubt. We will take him home with us to another culture and country, away from home. How would we feel? God keeps giving us total peace after one of these episodes. I cannot leave him to be put out on the street, I cannot forget about him and the impact he has already had in our life. There are so many unknowns, but this much I know, there were many unknowns with both of our children and for that matter with our marriage as we walked down the aisle, the factor that superceded all of these doubts and fears was peace and love. Knowing God loves us enough to be there through the trials and challenges any path in life takes us, peace that God in His glorious Word keeps affirming within us. Fear of telling my in-laws, who have a negative attitude towards adoption, fear of how overwhelmed he will be when he gets to the US and we have such a materialistic society compared to the shoebox of treasures he may have from his whole life. How do we begin the healing process for him. God has opened every door and we have willingly walked through. How can we not, We feel His presence and see His hand touching us and our sons all three of them. Will it be a struggle you bet, it was with our natural children, will we embrace another culture, yes, for when we cease to see all God's people where they are and to understand their experiences we cease to grow. We are on a little 2 week trip right now, for several reasons, I have returned to where I grew up and it has helped me see how well God blessed me from the culture I grew up in to the one in which I now live, two to do some genealogy research for my melting pot family, Mike is here for his company doing training, and I am refreshing myself from the frantic pace we had and realigning our plans and goals for the next month or so. It has given me a chance to see how God has never left us in this process and how He has worked for us as we walk day by day in the plan He has for us. We are blessed. Is it easy? No it hasn't been from the start, we stepped out in faith knowing there was no way possible to afford this at this stage in our life and yet He has met every financial need as we need it. We still have the brunt of that need ahead but we are faithful that we will not only see God working for us but we will see Him abundantly bless us and our new son. We set out on this path with the realistic knowledge that their would be trials and challenges in our travels much like a peak bagger that seeks to climb to a new mountains pinnacle. We will face storms, rocky trails, uphill climbs, but when we finish the race at the mountain top we will be at one of God's high places. A breathtaking view of His magnificent creation and more mountains to climb and more trails to take. We put one foot in front of the other and walk into an uncertain future, but all future is uncertain here on earth, the only consolation at times is who we are traveling with and the fact that Jesus our guide knows the path we are on and the Holy Spirit nourishes us and gives us strength and the God of the universe created this for us to take journeys on to be sojourners in foreign lands or better yet lands of the unknown. Do we know what the future has?, not here on this earth, but we know who holds our future and who we hope will one day hold our son's future. He heals, He teaches, He comforts, He returns what the locusts have eaten, He blesses, He upholds us with His righteous right hand, He gives wisdom, He directs our paths, He leads us, He sees us, He provides for us, He loves us, He gives grace and mercy... He is our all in all our sure foundation in the things of this life. So we walk on and climb this mountain knowing we will reach the pinnacle only to find the next mountain. What have I learned, I have learned that if we never take the journey we never grow and learn. We choose to step out in faith. On this trail there have been tears, laughter, abundant joy, lessons learned, doubt, growing faith, belief and unbelief, there has been hopes and realitiy, life is like that but as we follow the servant leader we learn that in the sacrifice of leaving the status quo, the comfortable and the known, He takes us and expands us, all He asks is that we walk day by day with Him. When I take each day as it comes it is amazing how much we have accomplished because someone authored these steps, He is our all in all and if we never leave our safe haven we never see how He can and will use us for His will, in His time, for His glory, how humbling that is and how joyfully we step out in faith, knowing all is uncertain for us but is sure and true in His scheme of things. So if God lays adoption on your heart step out in faith knowing He has a plan, will it be perfect no because after all look who He has to deal with, but will He bless us most certainly, He loves us so very much. There can be no regrets for the paths already traveled, but we cannot stay where we are we must move on which will you do in your own Pilgrimage of life. God has a plan and it is one of new directions and journeys He feels we must take for Him to achieve His kingdom goals. If you feel a call to adopt and you in fear or doubt back out, how do you feel when God reveals what his purpose was. For instance this is an uncertain world, economic hardships, greed, anger and malice, lust, and selfishness, wars and rumors of wars. If in a year He calls us home and you get to see who is coming through the gate, is one of the least of these that we could have impacted among the lines that are entering the kingdom. The orphan that was killed on the street of Ukraine by skin heads, was someone's heart tugged at some point and they abandoned him. How would you feel if on your way to your adoption into the heirship of the most high, He changed His mind or decided the challenges of raising us as His children was not the most attractive and He gave up. Not all are called to adoption, some are called to missions, some even to both, but all are called, what is your calling, will you step out in faith and follow Him so far this journey had left us totally exposed, out of our comfort zone, filled with fears about raising another child while we are already empty nesters and, by the way, we love this time in our life even though it is bittersweet that our first two sons are grown. But He has never forsaken us, when we faced some unbelievable obstacles and overwhelming odds in some situations in life, He has always blessed us even when He has said no to our deepest desires.He loves us and calls us to take up the cross and follow Him. What is your cross, carry it into the world and you will never regret following and loving Him with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Pray for the families with doubts and fears, that they will see God's will so clearly and feel His presence so acutely, and will know the path they must take. On a personal note please pray for me for clarity of the paperwork for the dossier and for our finances. We are nearing what we hope amounts to our travel time. I cannot believe how far up this mountain journey we have already come, and yet we still don't see the landscapes for the rocky trail and trees that lie before us the turns in the trail and the provisions that lie ahead, but He is waiting with open arms to bless us at the top as we look back over the trail we traveled to get there. I plan to "peak bag" this climb :) Dos Vedanyah! and I know that's not spelled correctly, but soon real soon :)

By the way, in order to help with our funding I have become a consultant for Creative Memories, I love their digital storybooking (scrapbooking) products. If you scrap or want to do digital scrapbooking you can go to my website and find out more and the money we earn from this venture goes for our adoption expenses my website is www.mycmsite.com/digiscrap. I did not plan to get into this line but I love it and it all started because we heard the young man we love and want to adopt wants a scrapbook of pictures that are his. So we are working with a friend to have his own storybook. They are really so neat, easy to do, and take far less time than traditional scrapbooking. So in this digital world I have become a digital girl and I have finished two storybooks that I will publish soon and the best one will be the one we hand to our son when we meet him :) They are far less expensive then traditional, a twenty page 8x8 storybook can be done for around $40 which includes the predesigned pages and the printing and hand sewn binding. Digital is our future and what will you do with all your digital pictures, this is a way to get them off the place you have them stored and tell your life - your story- your way :). I would invest in this product line even if we weren't adopting but we believe God will use this to help with ourr funding of the adoption and to save money for our son's higher education since we are paying for two others to be in college right now :) Thanks for all your prayers and support.